I’ve been blessed with an amazing life. Great parents and in-laws. An amazing husband. And wonderful children. A job that keeps me energized and good health. Every day I am thankful for what I have.
And every day I know life is tentative and it can turn on a dime.
That thought makes me want to go to bed with no regrets. Naturally, I find this to be an extreme challenge. Over the years, I’ve resigned to going to bed with as few regrets as possible, determined to rectify the deltas as quickly as practical. I've learned to apologize if it will keep the peace and I am better at picking my battles. I am definitely no saint. Let me just say, I've become better at controlling the devil in me so the hurtful words don't spew out like they used to. Some frayed relationships require two willing parties to mend and when the other wasn't ready, it used to leave me feeling guilty. Now I am at peace. We make mistakes. We try to make up. If it doesn’t work, c’est la vie.
I've definitely changed with age and now as I near my 55th birthday, I find it impossible to reconcile this number with how I feel. I have counted my birthday using a base of 17. That's when I came to this country. First, I was 17 plus 12 months and before I knew it was was 120 months. And in a few weeks, I will be a stunning +456 months. The math is boggling my mind!
Failing a recount, I am taking stock in what I want from Santa.
Now that we are officially in the season of lights, love, peace, and joy, I am rethinking my wish-list. As one year blends into the next and we find ourselves at the crossroad of reflection and renewal, my note to the North Pole says: please make me more gentle, more kind, more patient, more tolerant. As I make this wish, the red devil - always ready for a good fight - sitting on my left shoulder is officially restless, the white angel on the right shoulder is smiling peacefully. I am rooting for the dude on the left to settle soon.
To all of my friends - renew and rejoice, find joy, eat well, stay healthy and have fun! With the passing of four dear ones in three months, I cannot emphasize that last bit. Have fun peeps! Life is ridiculously short and what we remember are the great times we have had with the ones we have loved and lost. So, make it fun at every turn.
Laugh. Live. Enjoy. And if I find that you are doing this, know that I am gonna pursue you relentlessly in 2019! Are you ready for me?! 'Cos I am comin' for ya!