I Need My Space

Watching a toddler get a grip on language leaves us in shock and stitches, sometimes in the same moment.

On a particularly difficult morning, said toddler - Mina - needed more sleep but was awakened in a foul mood by the sunlight streaming into her room, the harsh sounds from a barking dog or just her own circadian rhythm forcing her eyes open before the body was ready to go.

She didn’t want to go to school but had to because it was a Thursday and adults had adulting to do. As she was encouraged to step over the threshold to enter her class, she saw some of her friends coming over to say hello.

Promptly she said, “I need my space!”

What?! Where did she learn that? How? Who said that to her? Nobody we know ever says this. Yet, she uttered words that coming from an adult would be pricey, let alone a toddler.

Her mortified mother left her with the teacher and walked away. What else could she do short of screaming WTH!

Later in the day, her proud dad was showing off her letter sounding skills to me. “What does the letter B sound like?” Obligingly Mina said, “Buh!” I cheered. Dad asked what words start with the letter B? “Bagel!” she exclaimed. Not ball, bat, baby or bicycle which are in her alphabet books, but a food item. No doubt she’s a foodie just like her parents.

Excitedly, we asked: what else? She thought for a moment and said, “B for…CREAM CHEESE! This is how she sends us from the shock of needing space to laughing till our sides hurt!

In preparation for a friend’s birthday party at a farm, she asked about the difference between a farm and a zoo. We fumbled for a bit and then I offered that farm animals generally don’t bite but the ones in a zoo can, like lions and tigers. She nodded in agreement and said that horses on a farm don’t bite.

I told her about the time a horse kicked me. Why, she asks. Because I was bugging the horse and by kicking, it told me to go away.

“Ohmygooooonesssss!” she exclaimed.

She has gone from learning the numbers to learning the letters and associating words with letters. From screaming and crying in the throes of a tantrum to articulating a need for space. And from not understanding context to emoting with exclamations.

It’s mind boggling how cognitive ability develops and how recall helps us connect the dots. What is marvelous is observing how toddlers process information then compartmentalize it into parts of their brain they can retrieve from at the right time in the right way. All of her toddler friends are listening, absorbing, reacting and amazing their families in similar ways.

By the time babies are born, they have a brain full of neurons. Synaptic plasticity - connections between the neurons - is influenced by learning and experience. Every interaction with Mina reminds me of the responsibility we have to nurture this plasticity in the right way before social media intervenes.

About needing more space, that’s on the agenda to rectify. Hopefully petting farm animals will teach her how every creature has to make do with the space that’s given without being overly demanding.