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Tall & Skinny With a Side of Cookies

A friend hosted a trunk show last week for a women’s clothing brand. This year’s event was on zoom and went off surprisingly well despite my skepticism about buying clothes without accompanying user reviews.

The saleswoman, Beth, explained each piece in detail, showing the fabric by zooming into the camera. Her vocabulary was precise with "vibrant" and "tensile strength" liberally peppering her narrative. I wondered if fashion language expertise in the era of virtual shows is a new profession and something to think about in retirement. Except I am as far away from being a fashionista as a mad scientist, so that would definitely not be for me.

The dilemma with virtual clothes shopping is whether a piece that fits a 5’ 10” size 0 model will actually go over my puny, pear-shaped frame.

Yeah, they never have models who look like me. I know, I know....there are reasons but how are we to make the leap if all the models are tall and skinny?!

We bombarded Beth with questions about inseam, room at the waist, and necklines. She had loads of info and a measuring tape to boot. The personalized attention was intriguing and if this shopping experience works well, virtual trunk shows may become a permanent tool in my shopping arsenal.

I was worried that the jacket I liked would be too long and too tight given the bulk I carry from the babies I had in a previous century. Clearly the models are yet to cross that mind-warping, time-defying, body-altering threshold!

Beth answered my belly worries with - Yes, I know all about that middle management problem!

While the models traipse in tight-fits, I wear oversized tops so I can breathe - yet another reminder that size 0 is a great starting point only if you are living in a fantasy.

I laughed at Beth's response and realized I’ll take a middle management problem any day over being younger and toned, less clued and oh-so arrogant because how do you ever say no to a warm ooey-gooey chocolate chip cookie?!

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