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Thank you, Mickey!


You know your world has gone completely bonkers when nothing makes sense at all. Here we have an absolutely vulgar celebrity with a long history of disgusting and racist vitriol, fueled by debunked conspiracy theories, who once grabbed her crotch and spat after singing the National Anthem, hailed – HAILED! – by some on the right for exercising her right to free speech.

Dudes! She grabbed her crotch and spat after singing the National Anthem. The same National Anthem that you do not want anybody to disrespect.

I forgot. She is a favorite of the "base". Hail free speech.

Crazy doesn't even begin to describe the ride we are on.

In the midst of this, there is a sigh of relief that her employer did the right thing by canceling her show because only individuals have the right to free speech, corporations do not and so they are held to a higher standard of civility. Right, RIGHT?

Err…

In 2010, the US Supreme Court ruled that a federal ban on spending by corporations on federal elections was unconstitutional. This lightening rod of a ruling called “Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission” is held by its supporters as a beacon of shining light and reviled by its opponents. Turns out that corporations are indeed protected as "persons", solidifying the occasional wicked dependency between politics, politicians, and corporations.

When a celebrity takes her abhorrent rhetoric to the public and jeopardizes 45M dollars in ad revenue for the highest-rated sitcom on network TV, you’d think that the corporation in question would take shelter in whatever way possible, by distancing itself or maybe by holding itself to a different standard because of rulings like Citizens United. After all, turning back advertisers is poor business no matter the reason, especially in such a late-breaking way.

Incredulously, this corporation did the right thing.

Since rationality is gasping for air, I attribute this momentary display of sanity to Mickey Mouse, the iconic mascot of Disney, the parent of said corporation. Together with Goofy, Bambi, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and a heavy dose of magic dust from the Fairy Godmother, Mickey and the citizenry of cartoondom beat back the Evil Stepmother and restored order today.

With zero control over reality, I will now go live in my imaginary world of the Cartoon Network. Life seems to be just the way I want it right there. People are fair and bad guys and gals are punished and even banished. Most desirably, kindness rules without question.

Hail Mickey! Spread the love. Restore sanity and please deliver us from Twitter.


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