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Sweet Revenge

On a recent birthday, Josh gifted me a year’s subscription to Audible.


Damn.


He broke my resistance. He annihilated my pleasure of holding a book in my hand to discover its hidden joys. He took away my beloved doggy ears. He broke down my unsteady argument for why not.


Now I have to punish him but I also have to switch because I adore him.


I downloaded the app and used the monthly credit he gifted to buy the next book club book - The Personal Librarian by Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray.


DAY ONE


Whoa! Why is the narrator speaking with a southern accent?!


I know nothing about the book so I am taken aback. When I read a book, I read in my voice, which is a half Indian, half-American mishmash. I definitely don't read with a southern drawl. And wait, she reads differently for each character?! Am I reading a book or watching a play? Cognitive dissonance drowns me.

If I don’t see the character’s name in print my brain doesn’t absorb the name. I am rewinding frequently. I am convinced I am not going to make it through this. I am going to disappoint Josh.


Gasp.


DAY TWO


I wake up with renewed determination. With the phone tucked into the front pocket of my jeans, I listen while I walk in the early morning solitude. Play-rewind, play-rewind. The characters, the places, the voices all run into each other.


Why, Josh? Why??


Yet, I persist.


30 minutes in, I am not rewinding as frequently. I get the accent because I’ve googled the book. It’s historical fiction so there’s plenty of information on the context and characters. The protagonist, Belle da Costa Greene, is a black woman who passes off as white at the turn of the 20th century. She is J. P. Morgan’s personal librarian.


I think it may be getting easier to listen but the jury is still out and I am exhausted.


DAY THREE


I take a break because I am cognitively overwhelmed. I curse Josh and I seriously consider ordering the paperback.


DAY FOUR


I didn’t order the book yesterday. I resist listening but give in because I know Josh will check in soon.


The pressure is enormous!


While I clean my fridge and kitchen, unload the dishwasher and reorganize the myriad containers with mismatched lids, I let Audible play. I find myself picking up the phone and putting it near me as I go back and forth in the kitchen. I raise the volume as I do dishes.


Wait, am I hooked?!


At the end of the day, I am on a long flight. I put on my AirPods, rest my head back and soak in the narration. I think taking a day off allowed my brain to rewire to listening instead of reading. I am not rewinding. I am getting the story. I am multitasking while listening. I am amazed at the brain’s ability to adapt. I cannot wait to put on my headphones, drown out my surroundings and migrate into Belle’s world.


The next time your kids ask what you want on your special day, say Audible or a similar service. Make the jump if you haven’t already. It will take a few gasps and and a barrage of choice words to get used to it. The journey may not be easy but you will enjoy the end result.


To my boys - when you were young and I was pushing your boundaries, I knew you’d eventually take revenge. I am grateful and relived you choose sweet revenge to push me forward. Don't stop, keep finding ways to bring me along.


(Image generated by AI at Canva.com)

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